The Emotionally Absent Mother: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect

Oof. This book. If you struggle with self-worth and relationships as an adult but can't quite put a finger on what's missing, this book might make some pieces click into place. If you had a "normal" childhood and don't recall any abuse, but never quite felt like you had ground to stand on, and have trouble connecting words of love with feelings of safety... yeah. This book peculiarly takes aims at mothers, when the emotional absence of any parent or guardian will produce the results discussed in its pages, but you can skip that chapter and move on to the good stuff—how to name what's going on with you, and how to heal. Deals with the natural effects of having parents who are depressed, addicted, or so mired in their own unprocessed trauma that they can't fully be present for their kids. These things tend to be multi-generational—but we get to learn and heal, so that it stops with us.